So Sammy B, my brother who writes "The Chase" throws down "Yo Momma!" last night and it sets my mind to thinking. If you haven't noticed yet these blogs are actually the public forum version of debates that the two of us have been having for years. Most people think that when two guys get together all they talk about is women, cars, and sports...true those things have been discussed, but I would dare say that most people would be surprised at the depth a "REAL" conversation can have when two brothers feel passionately about a subject.
Last night Sam talked about one of his passion's, his mother. Now I am going to go off subject for a minute and give a you a little background (besides most of you are still recovering from the J Cole Video "Daddy's Little Girl"). Momma Blakemore I have never met in person. I have known Sam since I was 18, we have been as close as brother's since that time, but I have never met his mother. Not a real reason, it just has never worked out for us to meet, but while I have never met Momma Blakemore I consider her a second mother to me. I know what that woman sacrificed for her son, and I know what kind of woman she is because of the young man she raised. I also know the true deep love that her son has for her. We are not talking about "hey momma, i'll miss you when your gone type love". We are talking self sacrificing, do anything in the world for her love for his mother. That being said when Sam writes a blog about "Yo Momma" and the reality of what his mother means to him...take it from his brother there is no more serious or important topic in his life than his mother.
Now on to my the follow up of "Yo Momma" and the reason for including "Daddy's Little Girl". By now you know by day, I sit at a desk and do a little Tax Work, and by night I like to ride around in "Bullet" (name given to my car) and pretend I am some type of doer of good deeds. Do I do it for the recognition? Do I do it for the adrenaline rush? Do I do it because I feel lonely sometimes? I'd be lying if I said occasionally those things don't pop into my head, I'm human, but that is not why I do it. I have two reasons and I will give them both to you.
1. Young men today need positive "REAL" role models. Yesterday I hit on society and what I see in terms of a challenge that our culture is facing. The growing number of juvenile men who have no clear leadership or guidance in their life. No one to teach them to be a Man.
Sam hit on it last night, for the majority of America (or the people he and I spend time with) Mother's Day is a very significant holiday...Father's Day, well that would be a very profitable time for Hallmark if children sent out cards to all the men who "might be their father". The hard part of even accomplishing that would be most of those children couldn't find an actual location to send the card to if they knew the guys name. (It's not a joke people if it's true).
Back to my reason of why I do what I do. I don't have blood children of my own, maybe one day I will, maybe I won't. It isn't on my list right now. I do have children though. I have young men throughout the city of Dallas that I consider to be influenced by the decisions and actions that I take. To me that is the definition of a father. Did I help create these guys? No. Did I consult their mother and say, hey how about having a family? No. Do I spend time with them and try to show them what a real man looks like? Yes. Do I do it with any ulterior motive other than wanting what is is best for them? No.
This brings me to point number two of why I spend my free time doing what I do.
2. A girl with no strong father figure in her life is going to have the hardest path that anyone in our country today can face.
Before you start yelling and disagreeing let me explain what I mean. I have several things to tie together. 1. It takes a man and a woman to conceive, but a man can leave a few minutes after and never be seen or heard from again. The woman whether she chooses, motherhood, adoption, or abortion has decisions to make that last a life time. 2. This is the reason Mother's Day is such an important holiday for most young men. Daddy may have dipped, but Momma, she stuck around (doesn't matter the reason). 3. Young men who are raised solely by women with no strong male figure in their life perpetuate a circle of ugliness that breeds the creation of unplanned children and the abandonment of the child's mother. (This is not a fact I pulled somewhere, this is opinion and observation, you can agree or disagree with me on this statement. It is why God gave us a brain.)
The video above talk's about "Daddy's Little Girl" in a way that contrast America's view of the perfect daddy's girl
Versus the other image of "Daddy's Little Girl" gone wrong
Add ten years to this face, lengthen the hair, dangle a cigarette out of her mouth, and see her getting into a beat up old car after a long night at the strip club to go home and take care of 4 children all under the age of 10. You get the picture?
I have given two extreme options here. Most people fall somewhere in the middle, but I gave extreme options to prove a point. Young men need father's and at the minimum strong male role models. Not just so they can become successful citizens of our country, but because they are responsible for the future of this country both male and female.
I have given two extreme options here. Most people fall somewhere in the middle, but I gave extreme options to prove a point. Young men need father's and at the minimum strong male role models. Not just so they can become successful citizens of our country, but because they are responsible for the future of this country both male and female.
Young men produce children, whether you are a firm believer in teaching safe sex, or that abstinence is the only way. The reality is our kids are having kids and most men are not there to raise them. When there is no father in the home it creates two unfortunate cycles. You have a son raised by a mother who is struggling and doing her best to support her family, but the son sees no example of how to be a father, or you have a daughter who is raised by the same mother and always seeking that male affection and love that is ingrained in her D.N.A. I am not a psychologist, and I don't have a degree in this study, but I am a man and I know how to pick up women. There is always a reason guys say "that girl has daddy issues, I bet I can sleep with her".
Now what do we do about this problem? I have laid out some deep stuff, probably some stuff that a lot of people don't agree with or see in a different light. That's ok, it's a blog and I am not a journalist. Here is my answer though. Men step up! This is coming from a man. If you are a father take responsibility for your actions, don't make "Yo Momma" jokes be so important because nobody would know who "Their Daddy" is anyway. If you aren't a father, mentor. You don't have to save the world, you don't have to replace their daddy. All you have to do is give them an example of a positive male figure.
You may ask why I say to do this? For the Bible readers, God called us to "love one another". For the people who believe in Karma, what can it hurt? For the people who only think with their time and money, I'm 28 and have a paying job and college education, but no children. I work with guys who are 17, maybe a G.E.D. and looking for employment, and have more than one child. You do the math...it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who is going to pay for those children at some point...
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