My brother Sam who writes the wonderful blog "The Chase" wrote a piece entitled "Race". In that piece a black man challenged black society on racism. He pointed out that with the progress our wonderful country has made in just the past 50 years, equality is more realistic then ever before. I stand and applaud him for that article. I stand and applaud him for taking a realistic look at "what can I do to make my situation better". I stand and applaud him for not using his "race" and his "gender" as an excuse. The reality is he is right. What can you do to make your situation better? Here is is where his white brother throws society slightly under the bus and while patting America on the back, says brothers we have a long way still to come.
Yesterday morning I had the opportunity to help a young man get to a job. This is a young man who I think very highly of, in fact, I'd go so far as to say I consider him like family to me.
Here is the background on the situation. He needed to be at work at 9:45 a.m., we talked the night before about making sure he was up on time, what combination of public transportation would get him to where he needed to be (visual picture here, under 18, no car, lives in South Dallas (across the Trinity, South Dallas) needs to be at work at a certain time in the morning. ) and being at the job site early so that he would "impress" his boss with his timeliness.
After going through that scenario just so he knew the complexity of what was involved with being at work for the average person in his situation, I threw out option B: I'll come pick you up and take you and we'll both be at work on time. Option B, was what I knew a parent in most situations would try to do if they had a child who was doing their best to work. Option B, was what I'd want someone to do for me if ever put in that circumstance.
Here's how it played out though (things never go as planned, lesson #1 in life). I wake up early. I am not a morning person, I'll be the first to admit it. I hate waking up unless it is about noon. I get up early though and start calling my friend...no answer. I go ahead and get ready and call back again...no answer. I call 6 or 7 more times in a row, just in case he is sleeping hard and can't hear the phone...no answer.
Now I would love to say I was fresh as a spring morning and not frustrated by this situation at all, but then I'd just be lying. I mean we had had the talk the night before about "responsibility" and here it is, all the progress I thought we made, not working out so great. Needless to say I am up, ready for work and figure what the heck I have nothing else to do so I'll head on in to the office early. I make it to the street right before I turn into the parking garage and my phone rings. You can guess who it is. Here is where I had a decision to make, and I think it plays into the blog "Race" that Sam wrote about. I could either say, "tough luck you messed up and now you have to deal with the consequences" or "I could hang a U-Turn and bust my tail to South Dallas, and then spend the one on one time driving him to his job explaining why I did it."
In the "Race" Sam said and I quote
"So now black America must ask itself. Does racism still exist?
If the answer to this question is yes.
Here was my thought as I hit the U-Turn and headed to South Dallas to pick up my friend and take him to work. Maybe racism does still exist, maybe racism doesn't exist. I am a white male, therefore I cannot answer that question.
I can observe though? I do have a brain and one I think is fairly intuitive. My friend messed up. He over slept, he missed the phone calls I made, he was completely in the wrong, but as soon as I picked up the phone he admitted every part of that to me. He also said, "Thanks for answering my phone call, you don't need to come pick me up, I'll find someway to get there. I just wanted to say thanks for trying."
Bullet Point: Had racism impeded his progress from being at work on time? Answer: NO Had a society where a juvenile is completely responsible for making sure he makes the same decisions that most adults struggle to make failed him. I say yes.
Here is what I talked with him about as we drove to work. We did not discuss race or him being black or me white. What we talked about was look, you have a tougher deck of cards to play with than most, but you still have to make the best of the situation. I'm willing to help you as much as I can, but in the end the ball is in your court. You either own your choices and decisions or you don't, but in the end they are your's and no one else's. If you continue to make bad ones, there will be only one person to blame for where you end up.
That was my discussion with him as we made it to his work site, my discussion with myself as I drove back to my work was something slightly different. I don't think the main issue in today's society is whether racism impedes ones ability to achieve their goals. The issue that our country faces currently no matter what color you are, is fair play.
Now!!!! before everyone speaks at once let me elaborate on what I mean. No need in you yelling at me before I explain myself. You can yell after. I grew up in rural Georgia, I went to public schools through high school and I went to a private college. I have lived in the wealthiest areas of North Dallas, and spent a lot of time in the poorest communities of South Dallas. Can I compare the two? Not hardly.
As an adult (and I used to the term loosely because I am 28 and have a lot to learn) I see the gaping divides that face a city (I'll use Dallas because that is currently where I am located) that falls under one name, but honestly is two worlds apart. I would ride my bike down any street at night through Highland Park and not think twice. I lock the doors of my car and look around beside me when I pull up to a stop light cruising down Grand Avenue from South Lamar to Robert B. Cullum.
Is this racism? Is this because I am white? No. It is because I realize that in our society we have managed to create a status quo that is expected for one group and not for others. How do we change that status quo? How do we make society a place where a 17 year old from Pleasant Grove is expected to be in school preparing to go to college at 9:00 a.m. just like a 17 year old from Highland Park would be doing? How do we change the thought of "he's from South Dallas, of course he's taking public transportation to work at 17" to "Are you kidding me? The child should not be working during that time of the day, the child should be learning, furthering his education"
I don't have the answers to these questions. I wish I did, it would make my life and the lives of those I work with a lot easier. In Sam's blog "Race" he ends with this:
"In the 21st century, who's the SLAVEMASTER?
Is it a white man? Is it a black man? Or is it... the reflection of yourself in the mirror?"
I ask the same question when it comes to setting the status quo for society. Does the white man set it? Does the black man set? The adult or the child, or do YOU set it?
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